Nyctophilia
by Nessandra
Summary: Silhouette has known Beast Boy since birth. They were in Doom Patrol together. But when Silhouette is kicked out and has nowhere to go, he offers her a place at Titan Tower. Will she be able to bounce back from the horrifying events since he left? What about when her nightmares start? Who will help her overcome it all?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Filled With Darkness

Silhouette walked along rather slowly, not in any hurry to get out of the darkness. The flicker of shadows in the corner of her eye was a comfort, one she hadn't felt in a long time. Her gift had always seemed more like a curse, especially when people found out about it. She'd started to become wary of the darkness, of the shadows, afraid she was turning into a monster. But now, cast out, but yet free of the prejudice and judging stares, she relished in it, feeling the darkness cool her, and the shadows give her a sense of control.

Soon the city lights glared at her from up ahead. Silhouette stopped in her tracks, her dark cloak blowing lightly in the wind. The hood threatened to fall from her head, so she pulled it forward before taking a breath, building up her courage, and following the lights. She hated the city. She hated the light. She hate the people. She felt claustrophobic, as if the amount of people was pressing in on her from all sides, trying to crush her.

But she really hated this city. Jump City. Filled with people who could barely save themselves, always having to be rescued by the Teen Titans. Then there's the Titans. Always having to save people from everything, rather than letting them learn how to take care of themselves. She knew why Beast Boy did it. It was the same reason she had done it when she was with Doom Patrol. It was to feel like you made a difference in people's lives.

Garfield Logan had always been a touchy subject with her. She was sure that she was a touchy subject with him, too, if his friends even knew about her. Silhouette had known Gar pretty much since birth—her earliest memory being of her talking him into eating mud—and they had been close friends ever since. So close, in fact, that Silhouette had risked her life to save him from what would've been a fatal blow.

A knife, not two inches below her heart. If she had pulled it out, she would've bled to death. If she hadn't of jumped as high as she did when she was trying to block it, her heart would've been pierced. If she had not have moved at all, her best friend would be dead. He'd never told her why he was leaving, just that he was sorry that they wouldn't be close anymore. And she'd accepted that.

But now Silhouette needed his help. Doom Patrol had kicked her out, and she was left without a home or any surviving family. Gar was her only friend left in the world. The only one that didn't judge her, because he knew what it was like to be different. They'd starting writing a year before, after not having any contact for two years, and she'd told him just how bad it'd gotten since he'd left. She always hated the fact that she needed him to protect her, but he had always assured that he needed her to protect him equally as much.

So, when they had cast her off, she'd written him, telling him that she needed his help once again. He'd offered a place at Titan Tower, telling her that she'd be welcome, that his friends wouldn't turn down a person in need, especially if it was his best friend and he had any say in it. Then, of course, she'd accepted, saying she'd arrive that Friday, probably late at night, as per usually. Oh, how she hated daylight.

The trek to the city itself seemed long enough, but then Silhouette would have to navigate through it to get to Titan Tower. Good thing it was huge and easy to see. She wished she could just use her power to get her there, but that would be pushing it, and, without having used them much in such a long time, it would drain her. She was due for a rest soon, though. Against her better judgment, Silhouette had started traveling during the day time, the hot sun beating down on her, her shadow behind her.

When she finally arrived, she leaned against a light post for a moment, debating on perhaps catching a bus to get there. Then she realized that she'd need money to pay the fare, and it'd probably be bursting at the seams with people anyway. So she opted for the traditional route, walking through a crowded city with nothing to protect herself other than a dagger barely the length of her hand and powers that would get her locked up in a psych ward.

Silhouette focused on her goal, getting through an annoying town, filled with stupid people, surrounded by streetlights, and get to Titan Tower. Her new home, as she thought of it. For now, at least. The first chance she got, she'd bolt and find a new life for herself, with a new name—not like she used her name anyway. She didn't even wanna think about how weird it would be to see Gar again, and hear his voice, however altered puberty made it.

The commute was actually shorter than she had anticipated, and soon she stood at the base of Titan Tower. It gave off a menacing aura, and she was ready to turn and run, but she soon remembered that she had nowhere else to go, and took a cautious step towards the door. The building was huge and intimidating, and she wondered just how much was inside it. She'd know in a moment.

Sucking in a breath, Silhouette thought about her and Gar, and all the stupid things they'd done in their time. Ding Dong Ditching was among the list of games. For a moment she debated on doing it, and hiding around the corner, figuring it'd be an entertaining way to show up, and that Gar would find it hilarious, but she thought about the fact that one of the other Titans could answer it, and that, knowing Gar, they probably weren't even expecting anyone to show up, especially not in the dead of night.

Instead she rang the doorbell twice and pulled the hood of her cloak down as she waited in front of the door. She wrung her hands together, nervous. She hadn't seen Gar in years, and she had no clue what to expect from the other Titans, let alone whether or not they'd actually let her stay. Silhouette had never been very welcome, mostly just because of her appearance. With long black hair that trailed down her back in near perfect ringlets and eyes so dark they looked black, she'd always felt—and been treated like—a lowly goth girl, just looking for attention.

Her clothing options didn't help her fit in, either. True to her name, Silhouette's wardrobe consisted of mostly black, with various purples and blood reds thrown in, and she loved the feel of skinny jeans and plain t-shirts—though most of her t-shirts were actually band tees. Plus her knee high black leather boots gave off a rather unwanted feeling. Her personality was actually much brighter than her closet, or at least it used to be.

Jolting out of her reverie, her eyes came into focus to see a green boy with a wide, fanged smile standing in front of her, his hand still on the door. Garfield Logan, in the flesh. She randomly wondered if he would turn out like green eggs and ham if he was cooked. Or maybe green tofu. "Silly, you're here," he said, still smiling. The old nickname still irked her, but it felt good to hear it.

She held her arms out, looking herself over. "Yeah. I guess I am," she said softly. He let go of the door and walked towards her, engulfing her in his arms, spinning her around in the process. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life.

"I missed you, Silly. How have you been?" he asked. His voice _had_ grown deeper, but Silhouette liked it; she thought it fit him better, like he finally grew into himself, even though it was still rather high.

"Well," she started as he set her back on the ground, "I'm here, moving in, with nothing but the clothes on my back, because life has been _just dandy_," she said sarcastically, looking up at him with a disbelieving eyebrow raised.

"It's good to see you, regardless. Come on up, I gotta introduce you to the Titans." He grabbed her hand and headed for the door, kicking it closed behind them and moving towards an elevator near it. Veering towards stairs next to it he said, "We're taking the long way. We've got some catching up to do." He let go of her hand and opened the door, gesturing for her to go first.

"They've finally made a gentleman out of you, huh, Beastie?" she asked jokingly, moving up the sturdy stairs.

Gar shook his head. "Not really. I've just actually learned about this new thing called _manners_. Want me to teach you?"

Silhouette elbowed him and chuckled. "I've got manners up the yin yang. I just choose not to use them because it seems like nobody else does."

He smiled softly. "Speaking of manners, it's only kind of me to warn you." He took a deep breath. "As you know, my friend Robin, the leader, used to be the partner of Batman. He's pretty judgmental," he warned with a sideways glance towards Silhouette. "But I'm sure he'll like you. He likes Raven, and you two are pretty similar. Raven is just like you, I swear, except she doesn't have a fun side. Cyborg, he's kinda like me. I think you guys will get along. Starfire... You'll probably have an urge to hit her in the face. She is happy and bubbly, and she doesn't see the glass as half-full, she sees it as overflowing, I swear. But, if you're okay with her, I'll have her take you shopping, since you obviously need it and I know Raven _will not_ set foot in a mall."

"Thanks for the warning," she said, throwing him a half-smile. "Maybe you have learned some manners, Beastie."

"We can't all be antisocial and rude like you, Silly," he chuckled. She elbowed him again.

When they reached a door at the top of the stairs, Silhouette prepared herself for the worst. Gar slowly opened it, walking in first this time, as if he was trying to shield her from something. The area they entered seemed to be the living room,with an adjoining kitchen. On the couch was a large man with what appeared to by robotic body parts, who she guessed was Cyborg, and a girl with violet hair and a gray complexion who stared at the ceiling as if there was nothing better to do in life. _Raven_, she guessed.

Sitting at the table in the kitchen was a girl with a rather golden complexion and fire-red hair. She was wearing a purple and silver outfit that Silhouette would've been jealous of if it would've covered more skin. She really wanted the boots though. The girl wore a smile and was munching on something that looked like it _might_ be toast smothered in mustard. _Starfire, of course_.

At the table with her was a boy that took Silhouette's breath away. He was tall, probably half a foot taller than Gar, and Gar already had five inches on her. His hair was slicked back into spikes that she didn't think anyone else could pull off that well. The outfit he wore reminded her of a traffic light, which made her giggle silently, but he wore it well, and the black and gray combat boots he wore were exactly her style. She even debated pulling them off of his feet. His body was lean but she could tell that he was still strong; he had a dancer's body. Or, based on his background, and acrobat's. His face was all angles and seriousness, a frown on his lips as he read the local paper, and his eyes hidden by a mask, no doubt covering eyes just as beautiful as the rest of him. _Robin_.

Next to her, Gar cleared his throat. "Um, guys?" he said rather uneasily, his voice cracking. He led her farther into the room, where she could be seen by all present. "Guys," he said louder, causing eyes to turn to her. Cyborg took a break from whatever he was watching, Raven turned her attention away from the ceiling, and Starfire turned, eyes wide, mouth still full of toast and mustard. Only Robin remained focused on the task at hand, reading his paper. "This is Silhouette," Gar said simply.

"Well?" Raven asked, boredom evident in her tone. "Is that it? Why is she here?"

"She's an old friend of mine. We've known each other practically since birth, and we were in Doom Patrol together. She was recently, uh, _laid off_, for lack of a better term, and has nowhere to go. So she's gonna live here with us for a little while. She can help, both in the Tower and out, and she won't be a bother," he said enthusiastically, looking around to judge their reactions.

"And so," a voice sounded from the corner of the room. Silhouette turned to look and found herself looking into the masked eyes of Robin. "You decided it was okay to offer someone _we don't know_, who got _kicked out_ of Doom Patrol, and I'm guessing you haven't seen _in years_, without consulting _your leader_ or even _anyone else_, a home here?" At this point, Silhouette was sure he was glaring at her behind his mask, and turned away, looking at a wall.

"Well, I thought—" Gar started.

"No, it's okay," she said shyly. "I'll go. I shouldn't have shown up unannounced, expecting you guys to change your entire lives to support mine." She gave Gar a weak smile and turned back towards the door they came from.

"Silly, stop. I promised you a place to stay," he said adamantly. She turned and saw him looking straight at Robin. "She saved my life more than once. She took _a knife_ for me. It's the least I can do. Please, Robin," he pleaded with the older boy.

Robin gave him a stern look before turning back to her. "How long are you expecting to stay?" There was something about his voice that threatened to send chills down her spine.

"Not too long. Just enough time to find my own place. I plan to get out of your hair ASAP," she assured, relieved that he, hopefully, was going to let her stay. _At least, I will if I don't get stuck in all that gel_, she thought to herself.

He nodded almost imperceptibly. "Okay. I guess you should formally meet everyone," he said, standing up and moving towards her. He held out a gloved hand. "I'm Robin, formally known as Richard Grayson, ex-sidekick to Batman," he smirked.

She took his hand and shook it lightly, heat rising to her cheeks. She felt like such a teenage girl she was ready to drown herself. "I'm Silhouette. I haven't used my real name in almost a decade, and I'd like to keep it that way, if that's okay with you," she introduced herself.

"That's fine. I won't pry," he said before turning around and taking his seat back at the kitchen table.

Starfire flew over to her, literally. "Greetings! I'm Starfire. It is such a pleasure to meet you!" She announced, giving Silhouette a hug.

"It's nice to meet you too," Silhouette said, wanting to scrub her skin and burn her clothes in hope it'd get rid of the happy.

"I'm Cyborg. Real name's Victor Stone, but no one really uses that anyway," said the large robotic man, giving her a wave from his seat on the couch. Silhouette waved back.

"I'm Raven. Call me Raven," the girl with the purple hair deadpanned, her eyes trained on the ceiling once again.

Silhouette turned back to Gar. "Of course you know me, Silly. Come on, I'll show you to your room," he said, taking her hand once again and leading her off down the hall. When he opened the door to her temporary room, she was actually surprised at what she found. Though the room lacked in her style, it was fairly spacious, filled only by a bed, a nightstand that resided next to it, a desk on the other side of the room with an office chair that looked really comfortable, and what looked like a large walk-in closet. "I know it's probably not what you wanted, but it'll do. I'll arrange to have Star take you shopping tomorrow. For now, bathroom's down the hall to the left, and my room is right across the hall if you need anything," he informed her, giving her a smile and backing out of the room.

"Wait, Gar!" she called, opening to door. He stood on the other side of his own door, looking almost ready to close it. "Can I get some pajamas or something?"

He chuckled. "Oh, yeah. Want one of my t-shirts? Like old times?" He asked with an almost nostalgic smile.

"Yeah, actually. That'd be perfect," she said with a smile. He disappeared into his room before a moment before returning a tossing a big white t-shirt at her, hitting her directly in the face.

"I know it's not your color, but I think you can deal, Silly. G'night," he said with a wave.

"Night, Beastie," she murmured, turning back towards her room and closing the door, not bothering to turn the light on. She held up the t-shirt in her hands and brought it to her nose, inhaling the scent of spearmint and dirt. Good old Garfield. It reminded her of home.

Silhouette peeled off her dirty clothes from that day, throwing them in the corner of the room, and pulled the worn shirt over her head before pulling the covers back on her bed and slipping in, snuggling down in the covers. Through the window next to her bed, she could see the streetlights and the sun barely peeking up over the horizon. _Definitely time for bed_, she thought to herself before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

_0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0_

It was well into the afternoon when Silhouette finally awoke. Not very pleasantly, however. Outside her door, she could hear Beast Boy yelling about something, it sounded like he was trying to run away from somebody. More than once, she heard him shout Raven's name. Soon the yelling ceased and Gar's voice was replaced by Robin's. That was when Silhouette finally decided to get up and see what all the fuss was about. Because of her lack of clothing options, she left Gar's large t-shirt on and pulled her old jeans on under it. Then she checked the mirror hanging from her wall to make sure her hair was tidy and the bags under her eyes weren't obvious.

She then braved the terrible venture to the outside world, still hearing Robin's voice beyond. He was talking low to Raven, who looked bored as she leaned against the wall, glaring at Gar every now and then, who sat on the floor next to her. Robin was scolding them like children. "If you two can't clean your act up and _get along—_"

"What did I miss?" Silhouette asked, rather uncertain about whether she should be interrupting. Robin turned to look at her through masked eyes. She began to wonder if he ever took it off. Today he was wearing something less stop-light colored, however. He was in plain jeans and a bright red v-neck that just _happened_ to hug his biceps quite nicely in Silhouette's opinion.

"Um, mornin', Silly," Gar muttered from his spot on the floor. "Just our daily chagrining is all."

Robin turned back to the two leaning against the wall. "Well if you two could get _along_ and stop acting like _children, _we wouldn't have this problem!" He stressed, running a hand through his hair. Silhouette noticed that he hadn't slicked it back yet, and she rather liked the mess the fell around his head.

"If he would _stay out of my stuff—_!" Raven yelled.

"Well, maybe if you didn't _leave your stuff everywhere _then—!" Gar challenged.

"Maybe if you all would _shut the hell up_, people would get some sleep around here!" Silhouette threw in, glaring at the green boy on the floor. "God, Gar! Grow up!" She yelled. Said boy looked to the ground in guilt.

"I'm sorry, Raven. I'll stop touching your belongings," he said softly, standing up and walking out towards the living room.

"Good," Raven spat, turning the other way and walking into what was sure to be her room.

Silhouette sighed and ran a hand through her hair, pausing when she saw Robin staring at her. Her cheeks flamed red and she looked towards the ground. "What do you want?" She snapped.

He looked her over for a moment, opening his mouth and shutting it a few times, as if he didn't know what to say. "There should be some leftover breakfast, if you're hungry," is what he decided on. Silhouette nodded in thanks and headed towards the kitchen, where she once again found Starfire munching on mustard-covered toast.

Looking over to the counter, she found an already made plate of eggs, covered in what smelled like Tapatio, with a side of sausage links and toast, but the toast was cut perfectly into fourths, each piece smothered in a different kind of jam. Her favorite. Gar must've made it. She grabbed the plate and the fork that laid beside it and sat down next to Starfire, digging in.

Starfire waved in greeting through a mouthful of... Breakfast. She was odd. But Silhouette kind of liked her. But she was filled with enough happiness for all of Jump City. That kind of bothered Silhouette. She shrugged of the feeling and munched away on a piece of sausage, looking towards the living room the see Gar and Cyborg playing some kind of video game. She had once made Gar a deal that for every book he read, she would play a video game with him once a day for the number of days he spent reading it. It didn't help that he only read about a paragraph a day.

In the midst of her memories, she didn't realize that Robin had come up to her until he tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jump, hitting the table and sending her fork clattering to the floor. He bent down and picked it up for her, laying it on the table next to her plate. She sighed in frustration at her clumsiness and looked up to him. "Mind if we talk?" he asked softly, holding his hand out to her, this time without the gloves.

She nodded and took his hand. He helped her stand and led her towards the hall. She was aware of all eyes on them, with the exception of Raven, and she could especially feel Gar's stare boring curious holes in her back. She glanced back to him for a moment and saw he had an eyebrow raised is suspicion. Shrugging it off, she saw where Robin was leading her, to a set of stairs at the end of the hallway that she hadn't noticed beforehand.

The stairs were short, winding around, until sunlight peered through a gap in the ceiling. Robin helped her through it, and she gasped at the sight before her. They were on the roof, looking out at the ocean, covered in deep oranges and burnt reds of the sunset. He walked to the edge and hung his legs over. She followed, crossing her ankles and looking in wonder at the water. Never before had she thought sunshine was so _beautiful_.

Robin cleared his throat next to her. She shook her head with a light smile and looked over to him. "So... Silhouette, huh?" He asked, attempting to start conversation. She looked at him with an eyebrow raised, unsure of his intentions.

Silhouette nodded. "Yeah. That's my name. Don't wear it out," she chuckled.

He smiled lightly and turned towards the view. "Why? I mean, we all have our nicknames for certain reasons. What's your reason?"

She shrugged. "I like nighttime. And shadows. Darkness and brooding, ya know, like a next door goth kid," she joked. "What's your reason?"

"Robin Hood. I've always found him inspiring, but when I was with Batman, I figured I should choose something with wings as well, so I stuck with Robin, just portrayed like the bird."

"Robbing from the rich to give to the poor, huh, Bird Brain?" She teased, leaning back and looking up at the sky with her arms behind her head.

"Not anymore, at least. So, you've known BB since birth?"

"Pretty much. Knew him when he was still white," she muttered with a chuckle.

"He's a good guy. I'd say he's one of my best friends, but he's really one of my _only_ friends," he said sadly. "So, I know it's kind of personal, but, how'd you get kicked out of Doom Patrol?"

"Oh, ya know. Prejudice bitches," she said vaguely, sitting back up and pulling her legs up away from the edge, as if something was waiting for the chance to grab her and yank her off.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not really. Look, Robin, if we're gonna be 'friends', there's a few topics you'll steer clear from. My real name, my parents, why I love the darkness, and why I got kicked out of Doom Patrol. Also, don't bring up the fact that I took a knife for Gar in front of him."

"Were you and him together once or something?"

"No. No, no, no. Gar and I were just about everything _except_ a couple. He was always my big brother for all intents and purposes. When he left I just—," she sighed. "I shut everyone out. I really started to become the next door goth kid. Then... Then my powers got out of control," she sniffled, a tear trailing down her cheek. "That's why they kicked me out."

"Powers? I thought you were like me. Use what you've got, and still kick ass," he chuckled uneasily. "What kind of powers?"

"The kind that get you kicked out of Doom Patrol," she said dryly. "Maybe I'll tell you some other day," she sighed, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"Alright. It's your business," he said, leaning back on his hands.

"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" She asked, looking back to the setting sun. In a few more minutes, a half an hour max, it'd be dark, and she'd be okay.

He shrugged. "I guess. You can go if you want."

She shook her head. "It's almost night. I'll stay." She turned to him. "If that's okay with you."

He shrugged and laid all the way back against the roof, pulling a leg up from the ledge. She did the same thing he did, looking up to the barely visible stars and the moon that was rising behind them. She waited patiently watching as the sky slowly turned darker. Eventually she closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the night air, a smile gracing her lips.

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Silhouette fell asleep on the roof and was surrounded by dreams. More like nightmares.

She was being chased, she didn't know by who, just that if she stopped running, she'd face something horrifying. It was nighttime, a time when she should be okay, a time when she shouldn't be scared. As she ran, the shadows seemed to engulf her, pulling her in and threatening to tear her apart. She screamed as she felt something tug at her hair, and immediately decided that when she woke she would cut it to a ridiculously short length.

There was a single streetlight up ahead, just begging for her to run a little faster, to come a little closer, for it would ward off the monsters. She tried to run just a little bit faster, one last push to success, as if she was running the last two miles of a marathon, which might've been easier, because the light slowly shrank to the background as if it was moving away, and eventually she couldn't see it anymore. Even the shadows couldn't be seen because she was so shrouded in darkness. She'd never been this scared of the night before.

That's when Silhouette realized why she was so scared. She wasn't in her beloved night, for there were no stars, and there was no moon. She was in a completely unknown place, surrounded by a blackness she had never known before, without even enough light to see that shadows that comforted her so. _Anywhere_, she realized. _I could be anywhere_.

Closing her eyes, Silhouette used her power to feel for anyone or anything around her. She could sense nothing, and felt so alone. Tears began to stream down her face. Then she felt a familiar tingling in her fingers. Someone was there, behind her. Grabbing a hold of the shadow this person possessed—no matter how dark it was, everyone always had a shadow—she flung them against the wall, or what she thought was a wall, with all her might.

She heard a successful thud and someone's groan. Suddenly, a light flickered on, and she traced the source to a small cigarette lighter in the person's hand. Upon closer inspection, the hand holding the lighter was green, and so was the ominous-looking face behind it. She sucked in a breath and raised an eyebrow at the boy in front of her as he rubbed his head in pain. He gave her a mischievous grin before blowing out the flame.

Once again, Silhouette found herself covered in black, even more so than usual, with no moon, no stars, and a Beast Boy who seemed to hold an aura of danger about him, one that she should never feel from her best friend. She once again searched for his presence among the shadows, whipping around and backing up to the wall that she now knew was near her. Feeling the reassuring brick under her fingers, she knew that at least something was real.

Whipping her head to the side, she tried to find the boy that was no doubt standing directly next to her in the darkness. Not only could she feel his shadow pulling at her fingers, but she could feel his breath tickling her face softly. She felt the heat from his body intensify as he leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "Let's play a game, Silly," he breathed in a bone-chilling voice.

Her grip tightened around his shadow and she pushed him away from, hoping to get a good distance. She didn't let him go, however. Taking a deep breath and thinking about why he was being so odd, she mustered up some courage and spoke. "What kind of game?" she asked, her voice cracking and her fear evident.

He chuckled deeply from his spot some ten feet away from her, trapped by her hand. "Well, you see, I was thinking we could play hide and seek, like we used to. Only you hide, and I seek, and when I find you, I get to kill you," he spat. "How does that sound, Silly?" A deep chuckled ripped from his throat, one Garfield shouldn't have been capable of.

Silhouette looked to the ground, trying to find a way out of this. Only one idea came to her mind. "And what if you can't find me?" She forced out.

"Oh, please, you act like I'm stupid, Silly. There's _no way out_. Eventually I'll find you." Another deep laugh tore away from him, and she could feel him relax in her grip. "Let go, and I'll start counting. I'll make it 20 instead of 10, to give you a better chance, since you can't see."

Against her better judgment, she released her grip on the shadow and bolted in the direction opposite the wall. She could hear him counting loudly behind her as she ran. She used her powers to search for an object, any object that could be around. She found a tree, a single tree, and ran to it, hiding precariously behind it instead of trying to use her next to nonexistent climbing skills.

"20," she heard him say, not 15 feet from where she was hiding. She should've he wasn't going to play fair. "Ready or not, here I come," he said. Shaking her head, Silhouette decided that she was going to climb the tree anyway, even though it would all be for naught. She hoisted herself up onto the first branch, climbing slowly, choosing not to go up any higher than the third branch.

"Silly!" She heard him call, rather ominously. "Silly! Silly! Silly!" He called every now and again, his voice seemed to get farther away each time, and she sighed in relief. Pulling her hair back from her face, she tied up the long, black ringlets, feeling sweat on her forehead as she did so. "Silly!" She heard him yell. This time, though, it was Gar's real voice, full of fear and desperation. _It's not him_, she told herself, shaking. "Silly! Please! Help!" He screamed again. This time she couldn't help it. She jumped down from the tree despite her lack of vision.

When she stood up, she saw a green face with an evil smile, lit by the flame from his equally as green lighter. She gasped. "I win. I found you," he said with relished. Beast Boy raised his other hand, something glinting in the flickering from the lighter. When he brought it closer to his head, she could make out the fact that it was a dagger about at long as her forearm. She threw up her hands in a last-ditch effort as he brought the blade down.

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read this first chapter. I have been writing fanfiction for a few years, but I am admittedly not the best, and I currently do not have a beta reader, so all mistakes are mine, sorry! Also, this is my first go at Teen Titans, and I feel that I'm making some characters OOC because it's been awhile since I've seen the show or read the comics, so please read and review, let me know how you liked it and what I need to change. Thanks!**

**Love, peace, and bacon grease,**

**Andi**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Unmasked

"Silly!" Silhouette heard. She gasped as her eyes flew open to Gar's worried face. Her vision came into focus and she saw that she was now in the living room, lying down on the couch, the Titans crowded around her. They all wore expressions of worry and panic, and Gar had tears in his eyes. "Silly! Oh my god, are you okay?" He asked, taking a hold of her hand. Out of instinct she yanked it away and moved away from him, fearful. "Silly?" he asked with hurt in his voice.

"Silhouette?" she heard a deeper voice ask. She turned to see Robin kneeling down next to her, and though she couldn't see his eyes, his mouth was set in a tight frown and his brow creased, showing the worry on his face. She sighed in relief. "You were screaming. It was a nightmare, wasn't it?" She nodded, not trusting her voice. "What was it about?" As a reflex, her eyes flickered towards Gar, and just as fast flickered back. Robin nodded in understanding and stood up. "Give her some space," he said to Gar, placing a sympathetic hand on the green boy's shoulder. He nodded sadly and turned to walk down the hall. Robin looked to the other Titans as well and jerked his head in the direction Gar went. They too headed to their own rooms.

Robin looked down at her and gave her a weak smile. "Are you going to tell me what it was about? What did you dream about, Sil?" He asked hesitantly, gauging her reaction.

Silhouette sighed and sat up, crossing her legs beneath her. "I had a dream about a game of hide and seek," she said simply, chuckling at her own stupidity. "I was hiding, and..." She took a deep breath as tears slowly started to well up and glide down her cheeks. "It was dark. So, so dark. There were no stars, and no moon. Even _I_ didn't feel comfortable. I couldn't see or hear anything except for footsteps running after me. There was a light up ahead, and I ran for it, but it went out. It was so dark, Robin. I was so scared," she admitted, wiping the tears off of her face. Robin adjusted himself so that he was sitting beside her, close enough for comfort, but not too close. "When a light finally did come on, it was from a lighter, in... in Beast Boy's hand. He looked so mean, so _evil_. He said we should play a game. Hide and seek. I would hide and if he found me, he—" she paused and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Her body was unbearably hot, and because of this, she tied her hair back. "If he found me he got to kill me. I asked what happens if he can't, and he said that that was impossible. So I ran. I found a tree and climbed it. He kept calling my nickname. Soon his voice started to sound scared, but I knew it was a trick. But then it was Gar's voice. He was scared and hurt and I couldn't do anything. When I jumped down, there he was, wicked smile and all. That's when he raised the knife and—" she couldn't continue.

Robin laid a hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles on it. His eyes flickered to the hallway, where he saw the shadow of Beast Boy leaning against the wall. He frowned at the thought; he shouldn't be spying. But now wasn't the time to be berating certain _children_. "Sil, is there a reason you had this dream? Something from your past, maybe?"

Silhouette gave him a glare. "We don't talk about my past, remember?" she snapped, her tears stopping instantly. Of course this was about her past. It was about her power, the taboo of it, how people view her. The hatred everyone has for her. The fear in their eyes as they look at her. Above all, it was the fear of what she'd become if she succumbed to the darkness. She sighed. "Of course it's from my past," she sobbed. She put her face in her hands and cried.

Robin gave up any hope at being considerate and wrapped his arms entirely around her, pulling her into him. "There is _nothing _wrong with you, Sil. You can talk to me. Stop hiding everything. I'm not going to judge you; there's not a thing wrong with you," he murmured as she sobbed, hoping to get her to be calm.

"You don't know a damned thing about me!" She lashed out, shoving away from him, her tears cascading down her face and staining Gar's shirt. "Stop acting like it's okay! Stop pretending! If I told you about my past, you'd never look at me the same!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Robin could see Beast Boy's head poking out around the corner, the concern and the recognition on his face evident. Robin sighed. "I was so young when my parents died. I didn't know what to do. I was so alone, and I didn't ever think I'd be where I am now. But I gained a new family. Bruce and Alfred, they were my family." He chuckled softly. "It wasn't much, but it was family. Under Bruce, I learned so much, so much more than I ever thought I could know. I had thought I knew fear, I had thought that fear was thinking there were monsters under your bed. It's so much more than that. Fear is loneliness, fear is sadness and hopelessness. You may not be with Doom Patrol anymore, but you still have a family. _We're _your family. But it's a two-way street, and if we're to trust you, you have to trust us. I'm not saying that you have to spill every single horror about yourself to everyone, but you can start by telling a secret to a friend," he explained, taking her hand.

Silhouette knew exactly how he felt. There was a difference between being scared and truly knowing fear. She'd been close friends with fear all her life, and her chance of trusting anyone was lower than a pig learning how to fly. But maybe, just once, she could tell a secret to a friend. Looking up at Robin, she was met with masked eyes, and she hated it. If she has to tell a secret, so does he. "You have to take your mask off first," she said quickly before she could back out altogether. If he did this, there was no going back. She'd have to tell him. Maybe not about her parents, or her fear of herself, but maybe she could tell him about her powers, about the real reason she was kicked out of Doom Patrol.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up slightly. She reached over and adjusted the spikes back into place. "Why?" he asked softly, looking down to the ground. "I just told my entire past to you, and yet you want me to take off my mask, too?" He rubbed his temples lightly with his fingers, obviously trying to ward off a headache.

"Because, you told me that I have to open up, but I don't even know who I'm really opening up to," she explained. Silhouette wrung her hands slightly before pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them. "I don't really know you, Robin. I guess you don't really know me, either, but like you said, it's a two-way street. But you have to go first," she told him, looking over his tense figure.

He nodded slightly, almost imperceptibly. "Okay. I suppose you're right." He looked up from the ground, and saw Beast Boy's gaping face. He looked almost hurt, but Robin couldn't help that right now. Right now he was trying to take care of a friend. He reached up slowly, his hands shaking slightly, and took hold of his mask. Gently, he peeled it away, blinking at the light that was now much brighter before looking over to Silhouette.

She gasped at the wide baby blue eyes that stared back at her. Smiling softly, she held out her hand. "Hi, I'm..." she hesitated, looking towards the windows. She let her hand drop for a moment, her smile fading. "I'm a fake. That's what I am. I'm trying to pretend to be someone else so that I don't have to face myself. I'm afraid of my own _name_ for Christ's sake!" She sobbed, burying her face in her hands.

Robin reached over and moved them away from her face. "You don't have to be anyone that you don't want to be," he assured. "Your name is whatever you choose it to be." He looked at her curiously. Her face was sad and far away, her eyes not really focusing on him and her lips set in a frown. "I don't care who you used to be. I just wanna know who you are now." Her smile returned to her face as he held out his hand. "But my name is Richard Grayson. Most people call me Dick."

She shook it softly, giggling. "It's nice to meet you, Dick. I'm Silhouette," she said softly. Her smile faded for a moment before returning. "But I used to be known as—"

She was interrupted by the sound of an alarm as an image popped up on the large screen in front of the couch. The image was of somebody in town, causing destruction. Silhouette tried not to pay attention and turned to the window as the rest of the Titans ran in. "It's the H. I. V. E.," Cyborg said. "Rob, we'd better go take care of that," he said to his unresponsive friend as he watched the broken girl in front of him, tears slowly dripping down her face.

Robin turned to his team. "Okay. In a moment," he assured. He took Silhouette's hand in his. "You don't have to come. In fact, I think it would be better if you stayed here," he said before snatching up his mask and heading down the hall, most likely to get dressed in his Robin uniform.

Silhouette sighed and, after a moment, headed down the hall as well. She passed what must've been Robin's room, the door cracked and voices coming from inside. Curious, she stood outside for a moment.

"Dick, she needs to go. We don't know who she is or anything about her. She could be working with someone to bring us down from the inside and we can't risk that right now. She's dangerous, I can tell, and she's smart. Gar shouldn't have invited her in the first place," she heard Raven's voice say. She looked to the ground and shook her head slowly, agreeing with the girl.

"No, she's not, Raven. She's a good person, and she doesn't have anywhere to go. I'm not going to kick her out. If she gives us a _real reason_ to be suspicious, then I'll consider it. Until then, you can deal with it," Robin said simply, completely destroying the girl's argument.

"Look, Dick, I'm not the only one who thinks she should go. Vic thinks she's really suspicious and odd, as well. Even Gar says she's changed, that she's not the same as she used to be," Raven explained, trying to look for any room for movement on Robin's part.

"People change, Raven. Just because she isn't comfortable with talking about herself yet doesn't mean that she's trying to wiggle her way in and kill us in our sleep," Robin said harshly. "Now please get out so we can go save the city."

Silhouette quickly scurried down the hall to her own room before Raven could spot her spying on their conversation. Shutting the door behind her, she collapsed against it, sliding down to the floor. She looked around at the bare room and sighed. The cream-colored walls were annoying, the white bed sheets were annoying, her empty closet was annoying, her empty desk was annoying. Maybe she should go shopping while they were out.

_With what money? _She reminded herself. Then she remembered that Gar was gonna have Starfire taking her shopping, and since that didn't happen maybe she could go by herself. Hustling out of the room, she caught the Titans as they were opening the door. "Wait!" She shouted, sliding to a halt in between Gar and Robin. "I don't know how long you'll be gone, so do you mind if I go shopping? I'm kinda out of clothes," she explained, picking at Gar's old shirt. She looked up at Dick, knowing it was really his decision as leader.

He shrugged. "There should be a credit card somewhere on the kitchen counter. Get what you'd like. Clothes, things for your room. You don't have to pay it back," he said, looking down at her short form through masked eyes. She smiled brightly.

"Thanks," she murmured as they began filing out the door. As soon as it closed she headed towards the kitchen, her socks sliding on the linoleum, causing her to almost fall at least three separate times as she scoured the counter. Eventually she found the small plastic card in a glass bowl in the corner of the counter. Pocketing it, she looked down at her shirt and decided that she should at least put something more acceptable on.

She finally decided to check Gar's drawers for a more suitable shirt. Her jeans were mostly clean, so she'd be okay to wear those. In his bottom drawer she found a few suitable shirts. A black Under Armour shirt, but it was long-sleeved, and she thought it'd be annoying to feel on her arms. Next to it she found a loose-fitting purple t-shirt, but it felt scratchy when she reached inside of it.

But underneath everything he had shoved into the drawer, Silhouette found a black t-shirt that said "Screw Superman. Batman has a hot sidekick." She burst into a fit of laughter at the irony and the truth of it, thinking of Robin without his mask. She remembered the t-shirt—it used to be hers. She'd lost it a few months before Gar had left Doom Patrol. Apparently this was where it had ended up.

She took off the white t-shirt and threw it onto Gar's bed, pulling her t-shirt on and feeling the smooth cotton that she missed so much. She figured it might be kind of embarrassing for the Titans to see her in it, but it brought back so many good memories that she couldn't help it. She smiled at the thought of Robin's face before closing the drawer and heading out to the mall.

_0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0_

Silhouette had enjoyed the shopping part of her endeavor very much. She wasn't enjoying the putting everything away part. As she lay in the room with absolutely everything she bought strewn around her, she sighed and stared at the cream colored pock-marked ceiling. She thought about the black and neon paint that now sat on their sides next to the door. Eventually she'd get around to painting. She probably should've done that while all her stuff was in bags.

She'd move her stuff around and have Robin help her when he got back, but for now she needed to put her clothes away. She groaned and stood up, surveying the area. All of her clothes lay piled haphazardly in front of the closet. Moving at a zombie-like pace, she kicked any other clothes that fell out of the pile onto it. Her pile of hangers was lying next to her clothes.

Silhouette began picking up hangers and putting her clothes on them before placing them in the closet. She had bought at least 15-20 shirts of various colors—but mostly red, purple, and black—as well as jeans to go with every shirt and at least five pajama sets. On the floor of the closet she adjusted her ten pairs of shoes, Chuck Taylor's and combat boots making up most of that collection. On the shelf above her clothes rod she piled her socks and undergarments, not really having anywhere else to put them.

When she conquered that mess she began organizing her desk. First she took the mirror off of the wall on the other side of the room and put it above the desk so that it could double as a vanity. She then piled all of the makeup she had bought—still mostly red, purple, and black—into the top drawer under the right of the desk. Then she put the notebooks, sketchpads, pens, and pencils in the bottom drawer. She put all of her lotions, body sprays, and other toiletries she had bought on top of the desk. She had even bought her own shampoo and such so she didn't have to use anybody else's.

Finally she got to the hard part. Decorating. In reality it was pretty simple, but she was tired. She put up her blood red curtains, which made the room look like it'd seen an ax murder when the sun shined through it. Then she stripped the bed and put on her purple and black bed set. She was going to hang up the posters she'd bought, but she figured that could wait until the room was painted.

Silhouette heard the front door open and slam shut and excitedly hurried out the door, kicking her paint cans out of the way in the process. When she got to the living room, everyone was slumped over the couch, looking exhausted. The only one who wasn't was Robin, who sat on the counted in the kitchen, facing his tired team. He was munching on an apple, and smirked when he laid eyes on Silhouette.

"What?" she snapped, wondering what his haughty smirk was for. She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. "Do you have a problem?"

He swallowed his bite of apple. "No. But I really like your shirt," he mused. She quirked an eyebrow and frowned, looking down at her shirt. When she remembered what she was wearing, she blushed and let her hands fall back to her sides. "It's okay. You can't hide the truth," he chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah. You're an arrogant idiot," she huffed, making her way over to the refrigerator. She grabbed out an apple as well, joining Robin on the counter and looked at the Titans. Starfire was playing with her fingers, her face red out of exertion. Raven was meditating, and Cyborg was messing with his controls. Beast Boy seemed to have fallen asleep. "What'd you do to them?" she wondered, looking towards Robin.

"_I_ didn't do anything to them. But it seems as though the H. I. V. E. wore them out. This is what they get for being lazy," he said loudly, causing Beast Boy to cease his snoring and glare at the masked boy.

"I'm sure they're not _that_ lazy, Bird Brain," she chuckled. Gar was once again snoring—rather loudly too—and it reminded her of the times that he would stay up so long playing games that he'd fall asleep with his controller on his face. She giggled at his face, drool slowly pooling on his chin. "Well, except Gar," she decided.

"Yeah," Robin chuckled. "Except Gar. Or maybe you," he poked her in the side. She swatted his hand away and glared at him. "And I really like that shirt," he chuckled. She continued to glare at him

She shook her head lightly. "Oh, yeah. I wanted some help painting my room, if you're not entirely exhausted like everyone else," she asked, an excited grin on her face. He smiled back at her and nodded, pushing himself off the counter.

"I'll put on something less important and stain-able, you go move your furniture out of the way." He turned and headed down the hall towards his room. Silhouette shrugged and headed towards her own room.

After she had moved all of her furniture to the middle of the room, Silhouette heard a knock at her door. She told the person—who she assumed was Robin—to come in. But the person that came through her door was a pissed off Raven with her arms crossed. Silhouette raised an eyebrow and looked at the gray-skinned girl in front of her. "Yes?" she asked when Raven didn't say anything.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing. You need to go. Or else we'll make you. You're nothing but trouble, and you do nothing but get in the way," Raven sneered before turning back out the door. Silhouette watched her go out of curiosity before shaking her head in disbelief and turning back to the task at hand, opening the paint. Which she couldn't seem to do.

"Need some help?" she heard from the doorway. When she looked up, there was Dick, dressed in a plain pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Without his mask. Silhouette smiled and nodded, holding out the can with a pout. Dick chuckled and opened the cans easily. Then they began painting.

In the end, Silhouette's walls turned out black with neon paint drips across the entire room, and her ceiling was decorated with neon green and black zebra stripes. Dick looked at her smiling face and chuckled. Her smile dropped and she looked at him curiously. "What's so funny?" she challenged.

"You," he said simply, pushing her desk back against the wall now that the paint was dry. "Do you want some help putting your posters up?"

"After you tell me why I'm _so_ hilarious," she pushed, crossing her arms. He rolled his baby blue eyes and walked over to her, copying her pose.

"'_After you tell me why I'm so hilarious_,'" he mocked, smirking. She glared and punched him playfully in the arm. "Because you're adorable," he stated, turning around and picking up her bagful of posters, picking up one and tearing open the plastic. He unrolled it and looked at her Pierce the Veil poster. He raised a questioning eyebrow. She rolled her eyes and snatched the poster from his hands, taking it and tacking it up next to her window.

It continued this way for a while, with Dick opening and unrolling the posters and Silhouette putting them up where she'd like. Dick stopped and raised a curious eyebrow when, after her band posters, he came across Titanic poster. "Are you actually a girl on the inside, Sil?" he asked once she finished hanging up her Motionless in White poster.

"Only on Fridays and alternating Tuesdays. Why?" she inquired, turning around, where Dick was holding up her Titanic poster. Her face flushed bright red and "Oh," was all she could force out. "I forgot I bought that." She took it from her chuckling friend and looked for a good place to hang it on the wall.

Dick smirked and walked up behind her, whispering "I'm king of the world," in her ear and wrapping his arms around her waist. Silhouette adamantly shook her head.

"Nope. Uh-uh. _I'm _king of the world," she insisted, moving out of his arms to tack her poster next to her Black Veil Brides poster next to the window. "You can be the queen," she said enthusiastically, giving him a wide grin. He rolled his eyes at her.

"But I'll be a damn hot queen," he assured her, striking a stupid pose.

"Says who?" she giggled.

"Says you," he smirked. "It's written all over your shirt." She glanced down and blushed again.

"No. You don't deserve to be queen," she said with a smirk. "You can be the glittery fairy princess," she decided as she began to walk out of the room.

"Oh, hell no!" he shouted, running after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I've been forgetting this part-I don't own anything but Silhouette. Also, thanks to my amazing beta reader!**

Chapter 3

Tugging at the Edges

Later that night, Gar and Silhouette were once again sitting on the roof, their legs dangling over the edge. The sun had gone down an hour earlier, and Silhouette was leaning back, looking at the stars. Gar sat up, a mug of hot cocoa wrapped in his hands. He had a sort of sad look on his face as he looked out to the lights of the city. Silhouette noticed it and sat up, reaching over and prying a hand away from his mug and holding it in hers. "What's wrong, Beastie?" she questioned softly.

He sighed and looked up towards the sky, squeezing her hand gently. "Raven doesn't trust you, and that kills me. I've tried to convince her that you're _good_, but she insists on thinking that you're working for the enemy. You're my _best friend_, Silly, and I don't want to lose you, but it feels like she's pulling you away from me. It's all about you, every other word out of her mouth is your name. I'm just not ready to let you go."

Silhouette thought about his words for a moment. In no way was Raven _pulling her away_. She was just moody and not trusting. Gar was still her best friend, and she could hear the jealously in his tone. "This isn't about Raven, is it Gar? This is about Robin," she stated, searching his face and trying to figure out what he was thinking, but he wouldn't turn to face her.

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess it is. You're always with him, and you're always talking about him, and he's always talking about you, and the way you two look at each other and—" He took a deep breath as a tear dripped down his face. "It's like I'm losing my little sister," he forced out, his voice becoming strangled.

She reached over and hugged him tightly, cautious of his mug of cocoa. "You're not losing me, Gar. You should be happy that I'm actually getting along with your friends—except Raven, of course. I'm sorry that you feel like that, okay? I'll do something to make up for it. How about a movie tonight?" she inquired, pulling away to look at his emerald face. A fanged smile popped up on his face and he nodded.

Tilting back, he downed the rest of his cocoa and placed the mug on the roof before standing up and holding out his hand to his friend. She took it and pulled herself up, and they walked hand in hand down the stairs, through the hall and into the living room. "Well, what do you wanna watch?" he asked, an eyebrow rose as she sprawled out on the couch.

She gave him a mischievous smile and said, "DUNUNUNUNUNUNU BATMAN!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air and giggling like a little girl. He looked at her like she was crazy. Frowning, she crossed arms in a pout and looked away from him.

He groaned. "Fine! We'll watch Batman!" She jumped up and clapped before doing a stupid little victory dance. Gar took a seat on the couch, and she plopped down next to him, flinging her legs across his lap. He chuckled. "You're still the same as always, Silly."

"Good. I'd hate to have actually _grown up_, Beastie." She chuckled and turned towards the large screen as the movie began to play. After the movie had been playing for an hour, Silhouette looked up at an odd noise to see Gar with his head hanging, drool falling down his chin, and soft snores coming from his mouth. She giggled and nudged him slightly with her foot. Some garbled nonsense came out of him, so she kicked him harder. His eyes opened a little and he seemed mostly conscious. "Either wake up or go to bed," she said.

He nodded slightly and pushed himself up from the couch, almost falling over in the process, and headed down the hall. Silhouette quietly laughed as he walked towards his room like a drunk guy. "I hope he doesn't fall down and break something," she heard from above her. She looked up and saw Robin leaning over the couch, his mask over his eyes.

" Where'd you come from?" She giggled. _Oh my god I'm giggling so much. This is hell. Kill me now. Robin looks adorable. Wait, what?_ She mentally kicked herself and turned her attention back to the Titan in front of her. He'd changed into a red Under Armour shirt, probably since she'd completely splattered him with neon orange paint earlier that day.

"I've been in the kitchen, reading the paper, genius," he smiled and shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. Drops of water hit her in the face and she assumed that he'd taken a shower a little earlier. She giggled and wiped the drops from her face, earning a quizzical look from her masked friend. "You seem happy."

She shrugged. "I've just had a good day. We can't all be emotionless workaholics like you," she joked. Kind of. He frowned and shook his head again, this time only for the purpose of splashing her with small droplets. She whined and jumped up from the couch, wiping off her face. "That's not nice!" She cried.

"It wasn't supposed to be, Sil." He smirked, his eyes flicking down to the shirt. She was still wearing her "Screw Superman. Batman has a hot sidekick." shirt. "You know, I _seriously love_ that shirt," he chuckled. She blushed and crossed her arms.

"Would you stop that? Narcissistic son of bitch," she scolded. "He _used_ to have a hot sidekick, but you moved out, remember?" It was her turn to smirk.

He struck a stupid pose. "But you still agree that I'm hot, don't you?" he inquired, an eyebrow raised as her blush deepened.

"Maybe when you're not being an idiot," she decided. "But then again, when aren't you an idiot?" she insisted. "But you can't get any hotter than me anyway." She flipped her hair and walked passed him into the kitchen.

He caught her by the wrist and pulled her back so that she was face to face with him, so close that they were breathing each others breath. "In your dreams, maybe," he murmured, his voice low. "But we all know that, if no one else, _I_ am way hotter than you."

Silhouette's heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to explode and she could feel her cheeks heating up. "Well, we're at least even," she breathed, "But at least I don't cover it up with a mask." She gave him a wink before pulling out of his grasp and heading towards the kitchen, where hopefully there was still some food left.

Robin stood where she'd left him, watching as she walked away into the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move, and turned to see Raven's disapproving scowl as she shook her head slowly. Beast Boy walked up next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, whispered something into her ear, and she nodded before turning and walking away. Beast Boy raised an eyebrow at the Boy Wonder and gestured for the boy to come towards him.

Robin raised an eyebrow of his own, but continued on towards the emerald-skinned boy anyway. Silhouette watched with a curious eye, waiting to see how it all panned out. Robin stopped just short of the hallway, waiting for the boy to say something—which he didn't. Not knowing what else to do, Robin continued down the hallway, wondering if the boy wanted to be out of Silhouette's line of sight. This seemed to be the situation, since Beast Boy continued to follow him down the hallway.

On a whim, Robin began up the stairs to the roof, where the stars shined bright and the lights of the city could be seen all around the tower. Beast Boy took a seat on the edge, his legs dangling over slightly, and Robin followed suit. Behind his mask, Robin glanced over at the boy, who looked stressed. "Robin, I—" he started

"You're tired of me hanging around Sil," Robin cut him off, matter-of-fact. The green boy looked at him in surprise, his eyebrows raised. "She's been your best friend since birth, and now I come and get in the way, and you feel like I'm taking her from you." The incredulous look on Beast Boy's face made him stop. "What? Aren't I close?"

" You took the words right out of my mouth," the shorter boy admitted, looking to his leader. "But if you hurt her I will not hesitate to tear your limbs off. _All of them_," he threatened, glaring up at Robin.

Robin put his hands up in surrender. "I won't, I promise. Besides, Gar, we're just friends," Robin tried to explain. Beast Boy wasn't having any of that. He elbowed the Boy Wonder in the side.

"Don't even sugar coat it. We can all see the way you two look at each other. God, it pisses Raven off so much. She says you're 'blinded by your emotions'." He sighed. "I really wish she'd just accept Silly."

"I do too, BB. How about we lock them in the closet together until they agree to make out?" He suggested with a chuckle.

" Rob, don't you mean make _up_?" Beast Boy wondered, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Isn't that what I said?" he asked with a curious look on his face.

" No, you should we should lock them up until they _make out_."

"Oh," Robin forced out, his cheeks flaring bright red.

_0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0_

Once again it was so dark that Silhouette didn't know what to do. It seemed to creep up to her from every angle, making everything dark. This time she could see the moon, but it was only a crescent, and it was dyed a deep blood red. She could feel trees everywhere she turned, and she knew she was stuck in a forest of some sort. Alone. In the pitch black.

The bad thing about the moon was that it didn't illuminate anything. If anything, it seemed to make everything darker with its blood red glare that seemed to follow her around and shine only on her. From what she could feel, the darkness had flushed every living thing out of the forest except for herself and the trees. The sinister mix of the darkness and the red moon seemed intimidating, and Silhouette had nowhere else to go.

Feeling the shadows for _anything_ living, she stretched out as far as she could—her limit was about a two-mile radius—and still felt nothing. She sighed and laid down on the cold ground. She began humming tunelessly to herself. Her hair splayed on the ground in a halo around her, and the blood red moon casting its glare across her form, she looked like an angel from hell. That which she felt she might as well have been.

Soon the moon faded away and left Silhouette in the darkness. She sighed and didn't move from her sprawled out position on the forest floor. She could smell woodsmoke in the air, and reached out for something living, some kind of animal at the least. She clawed at the dirt in the ground when she still couldn't sense anything more substantial than the trees and plants around her. When she really focused, she could feel small insects among the growth, but it still wasn't enough for comfort.

Silhouette saw shadows dance at the edge of her vision, closing in on her, consuming her, but she couldn't feel them no matter how much she tried. Gripping handfuls of dirt and rocks she threw them in a fit, crying out as she sat up and buried her face in her grimy hands. Sobbing was the only thing that could be heard throughout the forest. Her tears washed away the dirt on her hands, muddy, salty water dripping to the ground.

When she looked up she could no longer see the shadows, but she could feel them pressing in on her, suffocating her, begging her to join them. She stood up and lashed out with her power, trying to force them away, but they were like a vacuum, sucking her in and trapping her, only to be released when they allowed it. As much as she tried to fight back, she was so close to giving in, to finally giving up. Her strength was draining, and she felt as if it'd be better to go willingly.

Still fighting against it, she cried out, tears streaming down her face. Silhouette irrationally hoped someone could hear her, that someone could save her from herself, but she knew it was pointless. No one was around. No one would hear her. No one would even understand what she was fighting against. That's all her life ever was—the constant struggle between who she wanted to be, and the real her, the monster that lived inside of her.

Then fear, true fear, washed over her. The _sadness_, the _hopelessness_, the _loneliness_. She stopped fighting. She put her hands down and fell to the ground in defeat. She expected the darkness to wash over and flood every sense she had, but it didn't come. When she looked up, she saw two animals. A green kitten—her favorite little kitten. And a bird. A robin. Silhouette could _see _them. The darkness was gone and the stars were out. She could see the trees around her, and the moon was snow white. Letting out a strangled laugh, she sat up on her knees, smiling to the two little animals in front of her.

Not a moment later, the kitten turned towards the robin, which let out a strangled cry as he was pounced upon, the kitten's claws digging into its tender flesh. It trashed flapping its wings, and Silhouette once again began crying. She wasn't making any noise, just watching the massacre in front of her as she watched her best friend tear apart her only symbol of hope. Blood-stained feathers flapped as blood-covered claws ripped. Bringing her hand to her mouth, Silhouette sobbed quietly into it, only once, before the bird stopped moving, drenched in blood and nearly torn in half, and the kitten turned to her, transforming into a much larger cat—a lion.

Standing up slowly, she slowly started moving backwards when the lion let out a low growl, causing her to flinch and quit moving for a moment. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around, another loud growl ripping from the lion's throat. When it stopped making noise, she bolted, not knowing where she was going, just knowing that she wanted out of there. A roar was heard behind her before padded footfalls pounded after her, sticks breaking under two different sets of feet.

Once again, Silhouette made her way up a tree. As if _that_ was going to protect her. Closing her eyes, she imagined that she was somewhere else. She tried to think of Gar and all the times that they'd just sat upside down on his couch, talking about nothing and everything. But every time, she'd end up thinking of the lion that prowled below her. She tried to think of her parents, but they had died when she was too young to have a very developed memory. Doom Patrol wasn't full of any good memories, really.

So she tried thinking of her new-found friend, Robin. She thought about after her first nightmare, when he willingly opened up to her, and took off his mask. Their stupid banter, the paint splattering everywhere. The first time they'd actually taken the time to talk up on the roof. She had unconsciously started to smile, but when the lion below roared once again, tears dripped down her cheeks, making her look like a broken mess.

Wiping her tears from her face, she thought of Robin as a glittery fairy princess before jumping down to face her enemy—her fears. In front of her stood a large lion, its fur an odd shade of green, with a menacing stare and drool dripping from it's mouth. It gave another loud roar and pounced on her. It pinned her down, but made no move to hurt her. For a moment, Silhouette debated on fighting against, but then realized that that's what it _wanted_. It was right there, pinning her down, _begging for it_.

It was asking for her to become a monster. To betray her friend, to use her powers against him.

She refused. She didn't move. Simply lying there with her malevolent-looking friend breathing heavily on her from a lion's nose pinning her to a forest floor in the dead of night. But she wasn't going to fight. No, instead, she reached up and cautiously scratched his chin. She was not expecting the reaction she got when he bent down like lightning, his jaws wide open.

_0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0_

Silhouette woke up in someone's arms, scared out of her mind. She heard Gar's voice in her ear, and turned to face him, eyes wide. He moved her wild hair behind her ear, still whispering sweet nothings. She reached out and caressed his face. "I'm okay, Gar. I promise."

He took a deep breath. "I was so scared, Silly. You were screaming so loud." He pulled her into a tight hug. "I was so scared," he murmured.

"I know. I know, Beastie. It's okay. I'm fine." She wrapped her arms around him as he buried his face in her shoulder, and she felt something wet soak through her shirt. Holding him tighter, she looked up to see her door open, Raven standing in the doorway. She was looking at Gar with a sort of saddened look. When she saw Silhouette looking at her, her gaze hardened, and her lips were set in a tight frown. "Go to bed, Gar," she whispered to her friend, who nodded his head softly.

He gave Silhouette a kiss on the forehead before turning around towards the door. Raven gave him a small smile before heading out herself, Beast Boy following her. Silhouette sighed and putting her face in her hands, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She heard footsteps, but didn't look up until her bed dipped next to her and she heard a low voice. "Are you okay, Sil?" Robin asked.

She looked up at him and nodded her head with a half-smile. He frowned. "What? I'm fine," she insisted, raising her eyebrows.

He sighed and put his arms around her, holding her against him. "Tell me what it was this time," he asked softly. "Please."

Silhouette nodded her head softly and took a deep breath. "It was dark again. I couldn't see, and I was the only one there. I was in the middle of the forest, and the moon was blood red with no stars out. It didn't shine on anything except me. So I laid on the ground, not knowing what else to do. That's when the shadows started closing in, trapping me so that I couldn't breathe. I tried to fight back, but soon I became so drained that I stopped fighting. But when I looked up, the shadows were gone and I could see everything around me. In front of me was a small green kitten and—" She let out a short laugh. "And a robin. But then the kitten pounced, and ripped the robin to shreds. After that it transformed into a lion and ran after me, so, being the genius I am, I climbed up a tree again. But, I decided that it was time to face my fears. When I jumped down, it pounced on me, but it didn't attack. Instead of fighting against it, I scratched its chin. That's when it killed me."

Robin looked at her with a small smile. "A robin?" he inquired softly, chuckling.

She smiled back at him. "Yeah." She reached up and tugged at the edge of his mask. He flinched back at first, but then let her. Running her fingers over the edge of the material, she pulled it away from his blue eyes. She studied his eyes, the way that they were baby blue, but had darker flecks of midnight blue if you looked close enough. The kind of eyelashes that boys never cared about but would make any girl jealous. She caressed his cheek with her hand and ran her thumb under his eye, where a small dark circle was forming, as if he hadn't slept in a few days. "A robin," she whispered, moving closer.

**A/N: Hehe, sorry, not sorry. I rather like this chapter, actually. Anyways, thanks for all your support! And thanks again to my amazing beta reader whose pen name I forgot (sorry...)! The next chapter will be... interesting... I hope...**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Monster

"_I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel."_

And cue Cyborg—talk about a delayed reaction—running into Silhouette's room, cannons at the ready, screaming about intruders and other unintelligible problems that Silhouette may or may not have been screaming about, even though none of them were anywhere close to what had actually happened. Ninjas and aliens were apparently involved, and the ninjas were going to duct-tape the Titans to the wall while the aliens probed them.

Robin groaned and flopped back on the bed, covering his exposed face with his hands. Silhouette brought her own hands to her face to stifle her giggles. In the doorway, Beast Boy and Raven had rejoined the party, struggling to hide laughs of their own. Robin grumpily got up from the bed and calmed Cyborg's nerves, slowly shoving the large, robotic man out of the door, getting rid of Raven and Beast Boy in the process.

He threw a quick goodnight over his shoulder as he closed the door and separated Silhouette from all of the laughing and grumbling Titans. Apparently none of this had woken up Starfire, because Silhouette still couldn't hear her voice. She promptly sighed and lay back, flinging her arms out beside her. She felt of sort of silky material under her hand, and brought it up to her face. It was Robin's mask.

She smiled and pushed herself out of bed, made her way towards the door, and slowly pushed it open. Tip-toeing down the hall as not to raise suspicion, she made her was to Robin's door and knocked softly. He opened it not a moment later, an eyebrow raised above tired blue eyes. Said eyes flickered to the mask Silhouette held in her hand and then back up to her eyes. He silently reached out and took the mask from her grasp, giving her a smile and nod in thanks. She smiled back and began to walk down the hall as his door softly closed behind her.

Silhouette had a plan. A wonderfully terrible plan. It could get her killed. It could save her life. She didn't even care at this point. So, as silently as possible, she changed out of her pajamas. Donning her new black combat boots, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and a random purple tank top she threw on, Silhouette slowly made her way down the stairs of Titan Tower. She could feel the comforting weight of her old dagger tucked safely in her boot and smiled to herself.

The journey out of the Tower was nerve racking. Gar would've killed her had he known that she had left the Tower, let alone for what she had actually planned. So she kept it to herself as she jogged through Jump City, hating every moment in the people-filled town. In all honesty, she wanted nothing more than to run out of the city limits and never look back. But she couldn't do that at this point—she was in too deep.

Now, when she thought of leaving, Gar's face wasn't the only one that popped into her head.

Silhouette took a deep breath. She smelled rain. The ground was dry, so it hadn't actually rained yet, and when she looked to the sky, the stars couldn't be seen behind the dense clouds that undoubtedly hung there. Smiling softly, she continued along her path, looking for a place just outside the city, without people, without Gar or Dick, just a place where she could be alone. A sanctuary of sorts, that, in her mind, consisted of lush green grasses, pretty wildflowers and sweet-smelling rosebushes, with a starry sky and the moon hanging overhead like a constant reminder that it would never be truly dark.

What she found definitely wasn't what she was imagining. She found a less than two-star clearing full of dead grass and small, warped trees, while the sky was covered in an ominous gray that threatened a storm. However, that was all she really needed. A place hidden from prying eyes.

Walking along the edge of the clearing, she searched the shadows for a suitable test subject. After all, she certainly couldn't be a mad scientist without a lab rat to subject to her experiments. And experiment, she would. Finally she found something that would do; she found a common field mouse. Using her powers, she pulled it to her, feeling its scrambling feet as it was carried away against its will.

Its life was in her hands, quite literally, and all it could do was run itself ragged trying to scurry away from the unseen force that clutched it. When it finally reached Silhouette, she examined it closely, holding the rat directly in front of her face. It would suffice, for her purposes. She could feel its erratic heartbeat, the fear coursing through its veins. She gave a smile that would've given the Joker chills as she threw the rat into the air, catching it by its shadow moments before it hit the ground. It gave off small squeaks that made her grin grow.

Silhouette could feel it already. The darkness grabbing at her. But this time it wasn't a nightmare, it was real, and it was tugging at her, begging her to join it. Just a flick of the wrist, or a squeeze of the fist, and she'd have succumbed. But she was stronger than that and she wasn't ready to embrace the monster inside of her yet. She threw the small mouse a second time, this time catching it higher up in the air, but the insistent squeals were beginning to annoy her, and she once again felt that tug in her gut.

The first drops of rain hit her skin, sending a rush of cold down her spine and she nearly dropped the rat because of the sensation. Each drop felt like a bullet piercing her flesh, but she grit her teeth and held her ground, using her free hand to hold the menacing shadows at bay while she played with her little specimen. Never before had she known that she could _feel_ so much. She could feel the fear from the rat, its heart pounding and its blood racing. She could feel the way it struggled against her in any way it could, desperate to be rid of its invisible captor. She tightened her grip on its shadow and brought in front of her, once again examining her small experiment.

Silhouette was amazed by two things in particular. One, that the rat calmed down significantly when she met its eyes. And two, that the shadows hadn't captured her yet. She was still very much in control. She smiled at the thought that maybe she wouldn't have to worry about her metaphorical beast breaking free anymore. But she spoke too soon, and her smile turned into a malicious grin as her hand tightened considerably around the small shadow of the mouse. It began struggling again, the terror evident in its eyes. She squeezed tighter, feeling the shallow, pained breaths escape through her grip. Adjusting her hold, she now had her thumb underneath the chin of the mouse, and in one swift movement, she heard the tiny crack of its neck and let it drop to the ground.

Silhouette dropped to the ground and wept. The shadows around her—which she now noticed were more abundant than she had realized—receded, letting her be and wallow in her pain. She'd never be free. Her gift was just as much a curse, and no one should have that amount of control over another being, especially when you're not even physically touching them. The weight of the situation pushed down on her shoulders, sending her down to the wet ground, where she continued to sob, the rain pelting any bare skin it could find.

Doom Patrol hadn't kicked her out just because they judged her and believed that she shouldn't have that much control. They'd kicked her out because she had almost slaughtered a teammate. They believed she was devil-spawn, and they were closer to the truth than they realized. That's where she and Raven were alike. Hating themselves, but having no power over who they are, simply because they have bad blood—the blood of a demon.

Only Garfield knew. His parents had taken her in since her mother had died at birth and her father was nowhere to be found. Of course, they hadn't checked the ninth layer of hell. So they'd stuck it out like pros, both kids getting strange looks, Gar because of his jade skin, and her because of the dark circles under her eyes and the strange look she'd give the dark corners in a room. They were her family for all intents and purposes.

When his parents died, she'd lost it, but only slightly. Her powers would become erratic at times, ruled by her emotions. But right when she'd gained control of that, Garfield left her high and dry. So she was stuck, alone, just her against the world. She'd snapped. That was the first time her dark side had truly engulfed her. She'd hid away for awhile, not wanting anyone—especially Doom Patrol—to know that she couldn't control the powers that were already questionable.

Of course she knew why he'd left, deep down. After that knife, he didn't want to see her get hurt on his account ever again. So, she'd let him go. But the sadness swallowed her, and once again her emotions ruled. When she finally decided that she wanted to see sunlight again, she was okay, for a little while. Her emotions were in check, and her walls were built up higher than Everest. But when her team pissed her off, her teammate had been right in the way of her anger, and her fist closed around his shadow of a throat, nearly killing him.

And so she'd sent a letter to her best friend and honorary brother. Now here she was, practically right back where she'd started.

Silhouette forced herself up from the wet ground, her hands slippy on the dead grass. When she finally made it to her feet, she began walking back towards the city's lights, her hair heavy on her shoulders. She pulled it into a messy, soppy bun with the hair tie she wore around her wrist. A few stray locks fell into her face and onto her neck, but she just let them be, walking through the pouring rain, trying not to slip on the wet ground.

She made it back to the heart of the city easily, but she didn't want to go back to Titan Tower, though she knew that it was the best option in this situation. Staying in town without any money would end up getting her stuck in a sketchy alleyway, and the Titans would be overly suspicious. Anyone awake would be suspicious when she walked in the door anyway, but better one than all. Hopefully, she wouldn't see anybody on her way inside.

Luck was for once on her side—God knows she needed it—and upon walking, sopping wet, through the doors of the Tower, she discovered that not a soul was awake within its walls. She sighed and made her way into her room, looking at Gar's door with a smile as she closed her own. She began to peel the wet clothes away from her body and toss them into the corner before pulling on a pair of black shorts and a simple red t-shirt.

Softly opening her door, she proceeded down the hall and up the stairs to the roof, cautious of her still-wet boots which really liked to squeak on the floor. When she arrived onto the roof, the rain had stopped, but the bittersweet smell still hung in the air, along with a bittersweet girl meditating above the roof. Silhouette felt that there was no other way to describe Raven, especially since she knew what it was like to be stuck in someone else's shadow, namely your demonic father.

The only difference is that Raven never hurt anyone with her power. Oh, how Silhouette envied her for that. Sure, Raven hurt many people with her sarcastic and blunt personality, but at least she could control that. She'd never hurt anyone that she didn't mean to. Silhouette wished she could say that about herself, but she would never be able to.

Now, Silhouette didn't want to interrupt the edgy girl, but she needed to know the secret. She needed to know how to keep the shadows at bay. So she did the obvious thing. The thing that she'd lucky didn't get her killed. She tapped Raven on the shoulder.

Raven was not happy about this. She dropped onto the roof, her eyes ablaze, her lip pulled back into a snarl, and her hands coated in her magic. Silhouette took a step back into safety, or what she hoped was safety, as Raven caught her breath and looked the intruder over. Her snarl fell as well as her magic, but the fire in her eyes remained, letting Silhouette know that she still wasn't welcome, and probably wouldn't ever be.

But this was her only chance. Silhouette had to get Raven to open up about something and tell her _how_. Just one little question. So, before she could back out, Silhouette opened her mouth and asked. "How do you keep it locked away?"

Raven's scary look dropped into one of confusion. She couldn't for the life of her figure out what the dark-haired girl was talking about. Because of this, she said something super-intelligent that would've made Beast Boy proud. "Huh?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow and tried to decipher some meaning out of Silhouette's words. Sadly, she couldn't understand what the short girl was asking of her.

Silhouette silently cursed herself for being so stupid and vague. She took a deep breath and met the violet-haired girl's menacing stare. "How do you keep the monster inside of you from coming out and hurting people?" She specified, searching Raven's face for any emotion. Eventually she found one—sympathy.

Raven sighed and walked to the edge of the building. She sat down, draping her legs over the edge, and patted the spot next to her. Silhouette walked over and sat next to her, sitting with her legs folded under her. It was probably the closest they had ever been without trying to strangle each other.

**A/N: I've noticed that my chapters are progressively getting shorter. I'm not happy about this. So, it might take time, but next time will be an extra long update. I rather liked this chapter, honestly. And thanks to TraitorousFreshman15** **for beta-reading this chapter, and I'm-sorry-for-being-me for all the other chapters! R&R! Thanks!**


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